Posted by: hjelen87 | June 13, 2012

You Know You Don’t Own a Smartphone When…

Zach Morris Cell Phone

I tend to hold out for a long time on joining new technological trends.  Mostly this is simply due to the fact that I don’t have a lot of money and can’t afford high-tech new stuff and data plans.  It is also partly because I don’t like to get things just because everyone else has one.  I didn’t have a cell phone until I was a freshman in college (which was in 2005, when 69% of the population owned a cell phone [cite], and I’m sure a much higher percentage for people my age).  I never sent a text message until late in my sophomore year of college (2007).

My current technology holdout is the smartphone.  As of earlier this year, a majority of cell phone users in the U.S. now have smartphones [cite].  I certainly don’t feel like I need one, and I know I can’t afford one right now, but there are definitely times I wish I had one and times I feel left out without one.  So on that note, I give you…

You Know You Don’t Own a Smartphone When…

1. You kill time waiting for things by deleting texts (because of your old-school text storage limit), randomly flipping through your contact list, and if all else fails, just pushing random buttons to look like you’re busy.

2. When trying to figure out how to get somewhere, you pull out an actual, physical map.

3. You carry around a digital camera and an ipod, in addition to your (non-smart) cell phone.

4. You actually have to print out things like tickets and coupons.

5. You didn’t know what Instagram was for longer than you’d like to admit.

6. You know exactly who to call when you need to look up some information and you don’t have access to a computer.

7. You carry your laptop with you everywhere.

8. It is a common occurrence for you to be sitting at a table twiddling your thumbs while everyone else with you surfs the internet/checks their e-mail.  At these times, you often resort to pushing random buttons on your phone, just to feel included (see #1).

9. When not at home/work, you are unreachable via e-mail.  You often come home/to work to find a full inbox, including long conversations that happened in your absence and frantic e-mails wondering where you are and why you aren’t responding.

10. When your computer is not working or is being fixed, you are completely cut off from internet access.

11. You always seem to be the last to find out big news.

12. You have to wait until you get home to share photos or let your friends know what you’ve been up to (oh, the horror!).

13. You often get frustrated when your friends are too busy on their phones to talk to you. (Research shows that even though non-smartphone users are still able to send texts, they do so at a much lower rate than smartphone users [cite])

14. You only pay about $20/month for your cell phone bill (you’re jealous, right?) (see “How Much Will Your Smart Phone Really Cost?”)

15. You have no way of letting all your Facebook friends know where you are at all time (I know, how do I survive?!!).

16. You know all the best places near your home/work/school to get free wifi (no 4G for me!).

17. You have never played Angry Birds.

18. You sometimes arrive at an event, only to find that the time or place has been changed last minute and the host let everyone know via e-mail or Facebook, assuming that everyone would get the message on their smartphones.

19. People always see the terrible/embarrassing photos of you that others post on Facebook, because you are unable to untag yourself immediately.

Anyone have any other good ones?  Leave them in the comments.

(And yes, if you can’t tell, I like statistics, and law school has me citing everything)



  1. #5 I still don’t know what an Instagram is! And I LOVE the picture of Zach!

  2. When it takes you a good year to find out that QR codes are not poor graphic design…


    When you don’t have to buy a $50 phone case, because if you drop your phone in a puddle, there is a phone for $20 waiting for you at Walmart.

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